Merry Christmas

 

 

I dream of a presence with essence and absence of doubt

When do you know you´re completly recovered?

What is to be strong again?

To feel safe from your own feelings?

Right now i feel strong.

Not happy.

No, never happiness.

Mom said i´ve always been a serious and sad kid.

Not a surprise it didn´t change.

But i feel fine.

Till a see some romantic stuff, but yet i feel fine.

And i feel like facing it.

Facing my fears.

But i´m afraid im going to lose my strengh again.

I just want to be cured.

Cured from this disease that is love.

I just want to look and dont feel nothing.

Or i want you to look n feel the same for me.

Either way its not gonna happen.

Till then i get this illusion of freedom.

Illusion of strengh.

Never know how long its going to last.

But i wish it was true.

I wish i could stop feeding this feeling.

I´ve been told you were mine.

Kinda hard to believe.

When all i want is u by my side,

n all you want to be friends.

N i pretend to do it, cause i cannot be without u.

N u pretend u dont see my eyes shining when u come closer,

when you grab my hand.

Im losing it.

My control.

Just wanna wake up tomorrow n feel strong again.

Deceived.

Confused.

Enough to make it through again.

One more time.

Enough to fool you.

Enough to fool me.

Oraieieo